The Most Sincerely Insincere ones

"I want your attention of course
I care for nothing more than that
But don't worry I never use force"
He said to me on the couch where we sat

"It's better when you don't reply"
I nodd to keep my mystery
"You know you look sad when you sigh"
He pronounces with a look of victory

I rise to show him I don't approve
Of him assessing me so lightly
He catches my wrist, I can't move
I tilt my head towards him but slightly

I consider playing with his head
All he wants is to get me in bed

"I Don't Love You, You Know"

His eyes see everything, only not me
Hoping to spot me to ignore my face
He knows I am hurt but so easily
And he wants to erase my every trace

Not a trace of the girl he once loved left
and he can forget what he once felt
The lips that he once so dearly caressed
The hair he held softly while I knelt

So he looks for me, searching the faces
Of any girl with my scant figure
He thinks he sees me and so he braces
Until he realizes 'it's not her'

What he wants he'll never admit...
To not love me and for me to know it

Slipping Out

I'm pretending I don't see him sitting there
I look past him like he's dust
He does the same, why should he care?
I was never more than, was merely a 'just'

So the dust and I pass one another in swirls
Me a shade of green, his color bluer
He looks from not-me to other girls
His absent glance says it couldn't be truer

I was only a second choice
That night, and then that night as well
My thoughts snap back as I hear his voice
Saying her name in a tone that tells

I touch my cheek and bite my lip
To ensure I don't, that I don't slip

The Mirror Has One Shadow

"I'm proud of you for starving

It fits into the life I'm carving"

Said the shadow in the mirror

I'd long ceased to fear her

I narrowed my eyes and I replied

"By your will I always abide

But for all that, what have we to show?"

She shook her head and in a voice low

Whispered, "I can't tell you that yet

A promise made is a secret kept"

That was her cryptic reply

Not knowing what to make of it, I

I shook my head and I said, "no more"
She was still there, she'd opened the door

I Can't Tell You That

"Tell me that you never loved me"

I begged him as my teardrops fell

He turned his face aside coldly

I felt the fear in my chest swell

He shook his head with eyes averted

And told me, no, no he couldn't

I felt my features fall distorted

As I did what I knew I shouldn't

He ran away, as from disease

And I began breaking down

Waiting for the aching to cease

Sobbing there like a clown

Seeing my tears hardened his decision

Any old love died under cold derision

The 4am emptiness

It’s 4 am and I’m thinking of him again

The light creeps towards the trees

So up towards the clouds I bend

With my heart but on my knees

Reflections of his face in the clouds

Haunt me as the dawn is nearing

I would cry but it’s not allowed

Or at least not endearing

I pray the sun will turn my thoughts

And bury the regrets that are gnawing

At remembrance of what we’re not

On the ground my shadow keeps clawing

But she’s been digging all in vain

While I watch her from my rain